July 9, 2014

thetenantoftennant:

That look of terror when someone tells the waiter that it’s your birthday

Oh god, let me fucking tell you. Every time my parents take me out to eat,  the first person to get up and go to the bathroom gets “birthdayed.” And it’s usually me because I always fucking forget about this rule. Just getting up to empty out my bladder, mind in my own business, and next think ya know, there’s a gaggle of clapping waiters and waitresses surrounding our table yodeling their fucked up version of restaurant-themed-happy-birthday in all our ears for the whole fucking restaurant to see and ogle at, it’s loud and embarrassing and I can’t decide if I love it or hate it. 

The last time this happened, my best friend was with us and we ended up getting up to go the the bathroom together. My parents told them it was our anniversary. About 15 waiters, probably their entire staff that night, because I guess it was their first ever “lesbian couple” in there or something lined up, put straw hats on us, screamed out their weird anniversary chant, and blew us kisses with looks on their face that said “Oh! This is such a great moment! I might cry! You two are so brave!” And We were all just cracking up, tears of laughter just streaming down my face. One waiter shouted “Oh, look, she’s gonna cry!” 

Yes. Yes I was going to cry. If I didn’t stop fucking laughing. 

Long story short, that shit is evil and you should do it to your friends at the earliest convenience because many LOLS will happen.

(via welcome--to-the-new-world)

May 30, 2014
I work in the lesson studio at Guitar Center and every week this girl Mikayla comes in and changes the background on my computer before she leaves. This was her choice this week.

I work in the lesson studio at Guitar Center and every week this girl Mikayla comes in and changes the background on my computer before she leaves. This was her choice this week.

March 23, 2014
idk why but this is funny to me…. 

idk why but this is funny to me…. 

February 19, 2014
"I just kinda wanna kiss his face and see if his jaw cuts my lip"

— an actual thing I said to my actual friend about an actually attractive guy I know. 

February 13, 2014

Insight for those wondering about what happens when I text my cousin

January 21, 2013

So one day in like 4th grade we were doing that Flat Stanley Pen Pal thing that schools like to make kids do and this kid in my class got in trouble for writing “PIMP” on his Flat Stanley’s shirt

March 24, 2012

still dying

March 24, 2012

Frank N Furter Memes. Just died

September 20, 2011

LOL

(via iamwerepandahearmeroar)

6:42pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z2QPfx9lJcZT
  
Filed under: lol funny school